| Better Half Search Industry ^(&#&&% *&$&)%& ##### “old guy” 26+ 20/10/2007 Is There Still Hope? This is a fool proof plan for someone to find a girlfriend/wife in 3 easy scenario options. You can do anything if you change yourself into the super sexy macho hero of every lady’s dreams. Each of these scenarios has to be seriously considered if you desire success at obtaining a girlfriend/wife. Scenario 1: Become the ideal guy/ perfect citizen. This is accomplished though shaving every day (so you don’t look homeless), cleaning you shoes on a regular basis, brushing you teeth (you never know when your first kiss will come), and not smelling bad (ever!). If you happen to see a good looking young lady (which matches your number one criteria) of the ideal age carrying large, heavy looking bags from the grocery store you should either help her to carry them, or inflate some balloons and fill your own plastic bags so that it looks like you are carrying more than she is. You should express your sympathy at her heavy load and try to explain that you understand because you are also carrying a lot. Also, it’s a good idea to keep a bunch of flowers in your bag, make sure to change the water once in a while. It’s also ideal to purchase a young adorable canine companion which will attract a large crowd of females. Scenario 2: Become a movie star. This can be accomplished though participation in a large Hollywood production or LCC’s movie festival. This would usually require you to dye your hair blond, and then gel it, have your teeth whitened, and always remember to smile. Going to the gym is a good idea too (girls like big muscles). You should stay on top of the local fashion and appear to have lots of money. Socks are an important part of fashion, they shouldn’t be too long or too white (unless you want to look like an American). Don’t forget to wave to your fans (which is everyone) and smile. Always smile. Remember, stay classy, don’t sign girls’ chests and butts. It’ll give you a bad reputation. Nice girls aren’t attracted to bad guys. Scenario 3. Become the heir to the Kalingrad throne. This can be accomplished by killing all those who are in the way including Putin V.V . After you get out of prison, you need to look and act like the ruler you now are. Good rulers usually have good posture, so you should always sit up straight and fold your hands on your knees. Appearances are very important for rulers (and also the ladies), so always have a tie with you, even if you aren’t wearing it (that way you can wear it if you need to… for the press). Don’t forget that sandals don’t look good with a suit (just so you know). Should you discover a lady who you like, you can woo her with a serenade at the window. (Remember that if you are too loud that perhaps you will be given a special coat, a.k.a. a straight jacket, and taken to a “happy place”) In order to impress your citizens (half of which are females) you should ride a white horse and carry a large ornate sword. While these are great options with a lot of potential, the only problem with all of them is that they require you to be someone else. You do not have to be the perfect citizen, a movie star, or the heir to the throne of Kalingrad. Just be yourself and (if God wills it) you may someday meet that ideal girl (who is good looking, a good person, with a sense of humor, a strong/true Christian, open, kind, flexible, likes lots of kids (5 or 12), likes cleanness, and she will love you at least a little bit) who will think you are her super sexy macho hero. J |
